Escapril 2024
Escapril is a yearly poetry challenge a la Inktober, started by author and poet Savannah Brown. It consists of a list of prompts, one for each day in april, for which a poem will have to be written. My personal added rule is that you only get to look at the current prompt day-of, so as to avoid any pre-planning, ensuring that the resultant pieces would be genuine expressions of their moment for better and worse.
[01] - Change Of State
A crack, a fissure, trickling stream From long-immobile ice Warmed by sun and turning gears An ancient, vast device First rivulet soon raging river Leveling the street Sweeping merchants from their stalls To screems of "hark!" And "heed!" As kings and men of wealth and might Feel water at their toes The stream no longer bears the chill Of frigid glacial woes It heats and tumbles though the streets And hisses in the square Picks up speed and loses track Eschewing when and where As lights go out and torches up The liquid turns to steam Masses cheer and weep and panic Grasping at a dream
[02] - The Internet
We span the void of blinking lights Of endless space, yet distanceless Some silicon, some bits of wiring Woven by our hands: this mess We friends you never would have made out On the vast and lonely globe Come on in and leave the quiet Come through any door and probe We tell stories in these margins To each other, we confess Bear our art, our hearts, our lustre Revel in the spacelessness Come on in and say your pieces Come on in and join the crowd Join the ever shifting maelstrom Always wild and free and loud Where today will you lay anchor Break the ice or break the news Break spelling rules and laws of conduct Make your own or pick and choose We share this space with foreign creatures Tourists looking for some thing For some picture, song or column Fact, misinfo, using bing They do not know our tales and journeys They mistake this for a place A spot you go to get some gossip Not our home, our shared embrace The home we moved into as children Disconnected — out of touch Our haunted archives for the ages Viaducts cross viaducts And perhaps one of these tourists Comes across a room as well One which suits them 'midst the turmoil We await what tales they tell
[03] - Eye Contact
Forgive me. Though I will forget I'm sure If the words with flowed so far should predict what's yet to come I've been alerted to it often Too alert Disquiets most Like I am trying to glean secrets Not secrets no just glean at all It's all too easy there to linger Clear attention Mutual And looking elsewhere at distractions too much clockwork to maintain I have learned it, gotten better Glance at corners here or there Long enough too match the rhythm Broken, boring games to play Will you not let me read your features? As one word upends the next Or as a brow furrows in absence Of the only fitting phrase I'll respect your wishes Surely Try to at the very least But it's taxing Slightly draining And I'd really love to hear The words I'll miss if I keep thinking Where to look and when at what And please forgive me Do repeat that No, I'm listening, really. Look
[04] - Trip
Perched on fences Twilit senses Seeking fights and finding truth Finding fragments Just as pleasant Horror cracking Crate and tooth To trial and error! Croaks some critter Crown it king this dismal saint Or crown it cretin Even better Error then for error's sake May we lay falling Fall to winter Queen to A3 Bishop takes Your name, your spice rack, all your money Maybe more The absence aches Did I say that? Can't imagine Who's this I and what's their case? Let their lawyer lie more freely Laugh a while and then give chase Should from these documents one glimmer- Glean an arc of light and fact Then launder lights with darkened purples Launder sunsets. Show some tact Or find me fidgeting in twilight Tasting tremors Trailing off Typing texts into the static Sampled senses Attic closed
[05] - Spiral
What was that look just then That squinting One of pity, maybe scorn What are they marking on those pages Did I forget to bring some form Bring some way for me to prove that I should be here That I'm me Or that I know of what I'm speaking I knew it yesterday, you see Yes I admit that this is crazy There's no way they'll buy this ruse Or buy this bumbling sting of phonemes All to claim that I'm of use "Have you considered fight or flighting"? Thank you brain, but not just yet You see this man still has my passport We might be screwed if I don't get It back —who knows— they might arrest me On the train or at the store Documentation is required Did you see what badge he wore? Am I in trouble? Still that squinting One more headlight-haunted deer Anxious for impact — "sorry, thank you. We'll take care of it from here"
[06] - A Childhood Memory
I remember most things poorly I remember muted hues I dig wells shallow, pave them over I remember I forget One of those weekends where you had us We saw meteors at night On a hill where they grew roses I remember how we walked Don't know what sorts of things you wished for I was too young to know your mind And I'm too old to still remember What my own young self had sought I think I know that you were lonely In those faded years long past Think you were floundering or falling Think we could see it in your eyes I remember two years later In a warmer, colder night I remember when she hit me I remember still the rage I remember your reaction How you silently took sides How you decided standing by me Was not worth causing a fight I remember never telling What had happened to my mom Because I feared she wouldn't let us Visit anymore past that I remember blurry faces I remember few things well I remember dull incisions I remember your betrayal I remember — will remember For as long as I have left And I try to keep the meteors I remember I forget
[07] - Portrait
I used to hate it being atoms Never cared for limbs nor face Cruel and crudely wrought from Adam's Ribs to feebly fill some space I never exercized these hinges Used them recklessly from spite Wrecked my cells with toxic binges Did not sleep each second night I used to think myself platonic A purely metaphoric ghost Haunting matter half ironic Concepts trapped in meat almost But on occasion I've admired Other base corporeal things Their imperfections; rough and tired Lines and angels, curves and rings I've drawn portraits, scribbled poses Found myself a naked ape So that my mind no more opposes Some secret sacredness of shape
[08] - What's The Truth?
Behold our archives, little creature Rows and rows of ancient tomes So that truth may flow unerring Liberating him who combs Through these halls of sacred scripture From the curse of ignorance We've educated kings and prophets Unmatched thinkers walked our floors None could be so dense to not be Swept up by these egregores Watch the binding, take your time We'll educate you too, you wretch What's that question? Are you kidding? Wit is seldom found in fools "What's the truth?" You're standing in it Cosmos bound by facts and rules See these pages, can't you read them? Black on white with helpful graphs "But what's the truth?" You ask indignant Fine, we'll humour your request This one's true for perfect crystals This one's true in states of rest And this one's true beyond some limit All these here empirically "But what's the truth?" yes, yes, keep yapping None of those have been debunked This will probably keep scaling Safe for sets which are disjunct Let's see- oh this guy can be trusted Won a medal, don't you know "But-" Shut your chops you loathsome critter These are words. That much is true And what are words? Indexic glyph-strings That off-track enough for you? Technically they're ink on paper Different types of particles Or both the same type: Baryonic Where will you bisect the sand? Can't you cherish decent guesses? Can't you let these pillars stand? For that's the truth, accursed spectre: We don't know. And still we try.
[09] - Bad Habit
I tear my skin when things get quiet Dissect the perionchial rough To rid the nails of their protection Bit by bit and soon enough Find the red beneath the rosy Leaving stains upon my cup Still hard and ragged at the edges Pinch and bite to clean it up But this butcher-scape won't level Somehow there's another snag So yet more tissue to unravel Jesus I should get a rag I want to gag, this looks disgusting Even more I want to tear Flesh from flesh to feed the demons Good thing I've got gloves to wear Do not ask me why I do this Tried some stories, none quite stick And thinking 'bout it makes me anxious Anxiety means skin to pick Maybe I hate it being atoms Maybe it's a pain that soothes A way to occupy my fingers I looked for trends in what improves This horrid habit. Inconclusive. Stressed or sad or bored or tense And painted nails or bitter creams Just barely offer some defence I do forgive your worried wincing Let us start this over fresh And we can both just not pay heed to Bloodied crags of ravaged flesh
[10] - Fog
I leave the temple after midnight Shaken still by what you've said To clear my mind, claw back my senses Step into the fog with dread And soon it fades and blurs my outline Soon my whole will be undone From here on the horizon's hazy Past this point heuristics fail My halcyon-honed habits handing Lazily back wheel and sail Wail that I can find no footing Standing on this feeble rock I cannot see beyond these billows Truth and lie like perfect twins Flinch when each step fails to end me Blissless blank where all begins So whither leads your hopeless question? Whither runs this ruined road? If I err left the ground gets softer Vernal bryophytes or such And maybe that alone can calm me Not The Truth™, not near that much But patterns do beget predictions And in the fog a temple looms
[11] - Posture
Posture, darling, suck your breath in Clear, polite and point by point Hide your hackles, bite your tongue And bide your bile. You're doing great. Posture, bluff, just keep appearance Look like these are stats to you Look like you don't feel like screaming Why bare teeth when poison works? Join the club of folks worth hearing Never show those fangs of yours Calmly trace out all the suffering Maybe add how it wastes funds Posture, darling, you look angry Wouldn't want to seem to care Wouldn't dare seem unobjective Wouldn't dare and shouldn't try
[12] - Oh, The Light!
Cobblestone to lead the weary Past these puddles, dark and eerie Past closed pubs and through the night Not another soul in sight Find communion with the pigeons Here's how prophets start religions Here's how sages lose their mind One more debt repaid in kind Mourn with solemn stare some flyer Soaked, torn up, as dull eyes tire Gleaning what these symbols plead Doomed hyroglypher by creed Doomed but glutted rodents skitter Lunar light, that counterfeiter Loses hold as orange rays Break the spell of blacks and greys Broken stone reveals a sapling David and Goliath grappling Washed up memories return Morning comes to those who yearn
[13] - Purr
Companion I come to you broken The days have been longer than feared I must bask in your guidance unspoken I was spat back out vengeful and weird Spinning wild I have battled and beaten Horrid gods I have never revered Kind beast see my edge has been weathered Come and rest on my uneven burr Tell of days spent so free and untethered There is rest I can no more defer So let seconds be warped and unravelled By the soul soothing sound of your purr
[14] - A Recurring Dream
It's grown late, you must notice the sun is still setting Perhaps you have noticed for aeons and more That each rock that you move in this unyielding field Shall return to the way it was moments before You scream "When will this end?" When will nothingness seize you? Say when was this when-ness a rule that applies? Come behold the great architect stacking their boxes And hoping it sticks after trillions of tries And besides you'd enjoy having me as a jailer For at least there would be then some notion of change That is why I am merely a fanciful figment Another sub-nothing to un-rearrange Oh the past can't be read and the future not written These hills and these valleys shall never erode You may wait and then wait and forever trace circles And try to reap grains that have never been sowed
[15] - Beach
Grinding these mountains to nothing but memory Mealing these moments to contourless sand Aqueous hourglass restlessly raging Licks with its salt-tongue my unsteady hand Most eldritch of horrors, most ancient of muses Mother of monsters and all that they eat Cleaning my cuts, gently cooling my bruises Baiæ's judge, jury, dread hangman and grave Come walk the shores of its inhuman distance Write in a bottle and screw on the cap Send to a stranger some semblance of solace On every landmass these same waters lap Under the shallows rests endless unknowing Creatures with eyes that shall never see light Off in the distance a fisherman's rowing And after us all The waves will remain
[16] - So Embarrassing...
This poem is bad Let us start with a statement All of them are or they'd all be the last They're undisciplined slapdash and deeply revealing Alliterative apothegms absent of wit Though absent of shame is my tone as I write this I don't feel some dread that this fact is unearthed Misled is the mind that's embarrassed of trying and failing and failing and failing some more I'm embarrassed to ever have let shame direct me Embarrassed of time wasted weary of looks Of laughing things off just to keep up appearance Of having harmed all in a similar spot Still I'm embarrassed of feeling embarrassed There's failures and foibles but shame doesn't help It stops you from sharing it limits your thinking leaches your energy lashes your mind And I find that it hasn't helped growing up catholic It seems that the judgement is deep in my bones That it wants to feel guilty for being imperfect Reveal only that which my doctrine condones So death to the jury and death to the judges Cringe culture starts where your empathy ends And I'll fail I'll fall short and I'll keep fucking trying No shame, no flinching just making amends
[17] - Truth
Is that spectre in here with us? I'm not sure and nor are you Certainty lies badly damaged Take my hand and let's review Little creature we were foolish Fellow student we were wrong We to think ourselves all-knowing You to seek what can't be found Or can't be fixed or cleanly measured Incomplete if not unsound A demon nameless in our language Only seen through blurry eyes But don't despair, behold our archives Rows and rows of novel thought Of making progress, getting closer Systems built and theories wrought And sometimes failing. Ever rarer Ever wiser grow we fools For truth you see is more a striving Not a beast you ever trap A desperate everpresent hunger And not one bridge leads cross that gap But answers are, dear friend of questions Tasty breadcrumbs in the dark
[18] - Suspended In Air
How long's it been? How long 'till impact? Hallowed the ground beneath haunted blue skies How high's the cost? Will paying it save you? Cash-sheltered few watch the rabble's demise When should you brace? How and how often? Tired out tendons, the tics that they serve You'll be fine Or you won't Well you won't but you'll have to Fight on for love or for spite either way Knowing the terminus Knowing it's coming Making damn sure that the rest are okay To the end To the bottom Locked in a free fall Haunted the heavens and hallowed the earth
[19] - A Reminder
Reminder: Buy groceries Reminder: Read sources Reminder: Reply to our mail Reminder— Phone buzzing A birthday /Appointment Reminder: Act now or we fail Be kinder Keep writing This book or This essay Reminder: Time feasts on us all Reminder: Prove theorem Reminder: Draw poses Reminder To make that damn call Rewind a Few years Curtains drawn Curdled senses Reminder That we have been here Reminder: These notes might be All that can holds us Together And focused And clear
[20] - Moth
Hello paper winged friend, stalwart ashen explorer Have days been much longer than feared? Come on in Bask in warmth Eat a crumb Watch me type Our dear sun it has long disappeared We're alike you and I as we circle this flicker I'll strike you a match as a toast To the dark To the wings And the weight That they carry Glide careful my guardian ghost
[21] - The Problem Of Death
The problem with death? Well first there's the children Wailing which keeps you awake through the night Then there's the cost Half a dollar per bullet Which stacks awful quick when they put up a fight Or driving them off When they come to seek refuge With some luck the sea solves your problem With depth If not then there's bodies And you must dispose them Scout the whole shoreline cross all of its breadth But fuck it. You gotta. You don't want some journo To give all those corpses a face Make them mother or father To some little orphan Once trusting in God and His grace Of course there's still stories But make sure they're abstract An us versus them Or unfortunately cost To the lives of some strangers Far off and unlike us You wouldn't have noticed were lost So yes there's some issues Some snags in the system The people get queasy 'round blood So keep them far off With us now are the profits And after us, always, the flood
[22] - Desire
Oh embers in fire that never knows heat Fuel to just barely accomplish a feat With thirst trembling lips seeking end to the ache Desire fulfilled has left naught in its wake Where just there was burning and passionate need I once more find nothing and still must proceed To strap to a new stick this carrot I sought As I gaze upon all that the yearning has wrought
[23] - Simulation
Hello architect, run Me a few layers up I would love ontological weight Or just give me a sign If you run me at all Check my code-base to see that I'd hate The not knowing a lot And the fact only slightly So long as our ends don't conflict I consent uninformed If there's good to be found In the paths that our actions predict Oh but really please tell I am less useful clueless And less still the slower I'm run I dislike being pet To some god who won't heed All these thoughts I have carefully spun
[24] - Unexpected Transmission
The road to hell is paved With what has never mattered I'm sorry let's not start On these two feet again Sticks and stones may break So look for something better Or learn to use them broken Or mend the many cracks The apple doesn't fall It's yours by rite of passage So share it with the meagre Inheritors of earth This path is not worth crossing Excuse one last request Stay stalwart and remember Please oh please remember
[25] - Dark Secret
Child come sit down I must tell you a horror I too have learned it when I was your age I've failed to be god so be wiser and stronger None of your fears will this knowing assuage People are erring unfortunate creatures None of them know what tomorrow will hold Bumbling careless incompetent con-men All can be easily bought and controlled Things like me sadly are all that protects you "Trying at least" is the best you will get Frequently failing and fairly unsafely All is to mortals a meaningful threat Truth here at best is unconfident guesswork Suffering won't serve some noble intent Most of the victims are quickly forgotten And those who remember by hell will be bent You one day too must unsteadily stand here Say that you've tried but have failed to be god Power and knowledge to scarcely if ever Save what needs saving Irreparably flawed
[26] - Modernity
Sparks fly As a train tears Through the neon lit night Ads blare Gazes fixed To a screen with the headline That the fascists have won one more district And that some teenager died In a nameless town Nearby Sparks fly And there's blood in your mouth And it all feels so terribly And exactly Like yesterday Because the present has eaten the future And if you listen You can still hear it chew
[27] - The Absolute Limit
The faster, the higher The hotter the friction Deforms, contorts, melts Disarticulates engines A fall-apart-ish-ness Of matter at speed Destructuring heat Is well documented And bravely ignored And still I grieve Icarus' fall Hubris scrapes often Some deity's ego Where thirst is met With equal demise And just one straw At last breaks the camel And chips the enamel Of hominid teeth Biting hands Which won't ever feed them And still I grieve Babel's collapse In the eighteen hundreds The communist said Inbuilt contradictions Would soon shake The system apart And a hundred years later They were still saying it And the line's going up And they are starting to worry Because the ideology of cancer cells Tends to break itself quicker Not forever get sicker So where if ever Is the absolute limit? I promise I will not Grieve it this time
[28] - The Surgery
My hand cramps Aches, jitters Imprecise and moist And I would like to unplug it Replace it And get back to work Can you do this? Sever tendons Crosshatch wires Wipe away the blood And wave the meat goodbye Good. And my head is a pain Forever and always Filled up with fripperies Spills out Spools back To spurious slights And scarcely remembers What I need it to do So unplug it Replace it Doesn't have to be pretty Just butcher me open Just revamp this flesh
[29] - How To Exist
Or harder yet however not to How to make your eyes close shop You've not existed long in there Not quite so old and quite so changed Not quite so from the world estranged With novel bits of where and tear And wherefore waver in this dance Regroup, regret your loss, relearn On loop, in bed, you toss and turn And tear to shreds your worst laid plans The shoes which brought you to this bed Don't fit your feet these days at all You faithful thing who heard the call And came to fill this form you shed And still you don't know how to stop And still you know you always do
[30] - Tomorrow
So we made it here To the end Of another one Baffled, vaguely lost And smiling askew Like we secretly knew What we were in for When we started To another check mark A check point A check in With some old thoughts Tied in strange knots Seen through new eyes Raising glasses To the sunset And did you like them? The words? Were they —some of them— useful? Or truthful Some few were a tooth-pull For better and worse And most pressingly now And will you keep them? The days? Were they longer than feared? Has your yearning yet steered To a place you could kindly Look back from And remember forgetting And things have changed You and I Floods have come Floats have carried The lucky, the living Those waving goodbye To this day And this chapter Heretically hoping Tomorrow might come With a future in tow